The Pre-Intro Gag is Sweet, MILFY, Telma Hopkins & Mother Winslow talking about what a great tennis player Mother Winslow is, while NLR colors in the background.
I don’t have a screen grab of New Little Richie here & I’ll let Original Little Richie explain why:
Mother Winslow brags about the geriatric tennis player/guy she’s bangin’:
After the Intro, we’re in the Winslow’s kitchen where Carl brags about having a stake-out at a doughnut shop and Harriette tells him that Judy is nearly failing a class at school:
SIDE NOTE: And here’s where I didn’t make a joke about how Judy won’t need good grades to suck dicks when she grows up.
Then Eddie, Urkel & Eddie’s friend Rodney shows up and man, I hate this guy so fucking much:
SIDE NOTE 2: I hate this guy so much because all he ever does is cause trouble, for Eddie in particular. And if you read my reviews, you know Eddie has enough trouble, what with a family that despises him and all. I hate Rodney so much that I wish he’d have (story-line) molested Judy so his character would go to prison for that. (That’d also give a fair amount of justification for Judy’s future dong-filled career.) Anyway, I hate him.
Eddie, Urkel & Doucheface McShithead (Rodney) are talking about how great Eddie is at shooting pool and how much Rodney sucks. You know, like how Rodney forced Judy to suck and now he’s in prison in this fantasy I need to let go of. Ahem.
Rodney finally leaves & Carl enters. Eddie brags to his dad that he won $20 from Rodney, cuz fuck that guy so hard, guys.
But Carl doesn’t want Eddie gambling:
Thanks for having my back, Officer Winslow.
In the next scene, we’re at the local pool hall, “The Corner Pocket” and Eddie, Urkel & Rodney (who are all too young to be there) enter.
Eddie meets a good ol’ country boy named Buck and invites him to a friendly game of pool and I’m sure that Buck is a really horrible player, cuz I love how wonderfully obvious 80’s TV shows were.
So, Urkel racks ’em up and Eddie wins 5 games in a row at $5 a game. Then Buck offers to play a few more games at $25 a game; Urkel is the only one who thinks this is a bad idea.
SIDE NOTE 3: This is also the 1st instance of someone telling Urkel to “go home, go home, go home” (when Urkel tries more to warn Eddie about getting hustled), and Urkel eventually storming off after saying he won’t put up with being talked to/treated that way and that he’s going home. It’s usually Carl who says this instead of Eddie; I guess everything is funnier with a fat guy:
As the day progresses, Eddie’s lost 10 games at $25 a pop and now owes $250 to the stranger:
Of course, Eddie doesn’t have the money, but after Buck assures Eddie that he knows where he lives, the names of his family members, etc., Buck & his cronies let Eddie leave, telling him to bring the money back tomorrow.
SIDE NOTE 4: I guess their research didn’t extend to knowing Eddie’s dad is a cop.
The next day, we’re at Rachel’s Place where Eddie & Rodney are thinking of ways to get the cash Eddie owes. They see Urkel counting his (weekly?) tips and he’s got $300!
Urkel agrees to loan Eddie the money on 2 conditions:
1) That he gets to go with him to the pool hall.
2) That Eddie will be his best-est friend for a week.
Eddie agrees & on his way out, Urkel accidentally tells Sweet Telma what’s going on.
Back at the Winslow’s house, Judy is reading a book. When Harriette asks her how it’s going, she says…
…and I am so not making that up.
Next, we’re back at the pool hall, where Eddie gives Buck the money he owes him & Urkel offers to play the game for double or nothing.
HOLY CHITLINS!
SIDE NOTE 5: It turns out, Urkel’s a BOSS at pool since he doesn’t have many friends and thus, spends a lot of time playing solitary games, pool among them.
Soon — after a particularly good shot — Eddie gives Steve a high-five, Urkel misses and accidentally slaps some guy in the face. I laughed out loud. I think that’s 13 laughs on this series so far, for those of you keeping track.
Urkel’s winning, so Buck compliments his glasses and Steve let’s Buck handle them. Of course, Buck drops & steps on them because the episode is almost over.
Suddenly, Carl & Mother Winslow show up, cuz of course they do.
And even though Carl bragged to Eddie earlier in the episode about how he, too, was a great pool shark, I’m gonna guess that it’s Mother Winslow who taught Carl how to play, so I think she’s gonna be the one shooting stick:
Indeed I am…for a bit.
Carl plays until the last shot, when the cue ball ends up behind a ball and needs to be banked off four sides to win…and THAT’S when Mother Winslow takes over (and WINS):
Back at the Winslow’s, Eddie & Carl talk about the dangers of gambling, then Carl punches Eddie:
And Eddie must have gotten the hint, because according to Wikipedia, this is the last episode Rodney was on.
Then Urkel shows up with the hourly schedule that he & Eddie will be sticking to for their week as best buds.
Roll Credits.
EPISODE RECAP: Eddie hustles, then gets hustled, at pool; Judy can barely read.
LESSONS LEARNED: Old women are better at pool than you’ll ever hope to be; somebody has to grow up to suck dicks.
Family Matters Reviewed 